Saturday, November 8, 2014

Thought Trail


“You should be strong; you should never give up nor be afraid of doing something that your heart tells you to do. Your father is no more, you don’t have any brothers. You should learn to take care of yourself.” her mother told her. She was still a kid and those words didn’t really penetrate deep enough to her.

“Mamma, the guy who sits next to me in school is mean to me. I don’t want to sit with him” she complained one day to her mother.
“Do you want me to come talk to your class teacher?”
“No, it’s okay. Ill handle it”

Her mother smiled a little. She knew she had done her job right. She had brought up her daughter to deal with her problems on her own and not depend on anyone else. The mother however traditional in a way was also very practical and modern. She had seen both poverty and riches and knew a right combination of traditional values and practicality and modern culture is the best way to bring up daughter.

She was the kind of mother who allowed her daughter late night parties but also taught her the importance of getting up early in the morning. She made it very clear that she disapproved of her first boyfriend but didn’t force her daughter to break up. She let her make her own decisions.

Years later

“You are dating him for how long exactly?”Her mother enquired. All these years the daughter had learnt to be responsible, independent and free to take her own decisions.

“6 years”

“And this is his younger brother’s engagement? Are you planning to get married to him?”

“Yup, but that is still going to take time. I am still studying. He has to set up his career; I have to start my career. Plus we are not insecure about each other in that way.  We know career should be our priority now and we can get married later.”

“Okay! Just let me know when you want to get married. You sound so much like me when I was younger.”

“And see you turned out just fine! You found pappa; you are financially sound, what else do one need?”

6 months later

“We should get married. At least get the marriage talks started. I can’t handle the my family pressure anymore” he told her

“What about our career? What about my career? I just graduated. I want to do Masters.” She tried to make him understand.

Yes but what harm is it going to do? We will get married and then you pursue your career”

“I will turn 23 this September; I am still young to handle marriage. I can’t do this. Moreover you have your career to follow. You are just giving in to the pressure. Make your parents understand that we aren’t in 1960s anymore. We have ambitions and we want to follow them. We have all our lives to get married and have babies” she hoped he would understand that it is just way too early for her.

“I can’t. You choose me or your career”

“Career. But I stood by you when you were struggling to get a job or when you failed a year in college. Can’t you do the same for me?”

“I can’t. Sorry”

One lonely evening, her thoughts started wandering…

Is it wrong that I am practical girl? I do intend to get married but there are certain things that I need to achieve before that. I need to have an identity, some financial security and some goal. Is it a good thing that this happened now? I don’t know. He should have been here supporting me, telling me that all is going to be fine. He should have made his parents understand that people these days are very career oriented, is that a good thing though? Should I be career oriented? I am not exactly being selfish here right? I am just asking for the bare minimum, let me just get started with a job. How difficult is that to understand?

23 and married sounds ridiculous anyway. I have two friends from school who are married and one even has a kid. I can see that they have achieved nothing in life and don’t even have any intentions. They are happy being housewives, nothing wrong with that but that’s just not what I had planned for myself. Am I stupid to let it all go when I had it all?

No! If the guy has the right to think of his career and his life and his finance and I supported him through all this thick and thins, I expect him to do the same. Maybe I am wrong but that’s only fair. Talk about equality dude!
Okay, I need to get a grip.

She drifted off to sleep



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