Understanding Depression – One Step at a Time




We hear the word depression often; social media keeps talking about it. Have we ever paused to check if people around us might be depressed?

There are signs then why do we not notice and push the person to a saturation point and the person has to do something drastic.

One tragic incident has the potential of immediately harming a person or at times, it is a long term process until the person reaches the breaking point. That breaking point could be something very minimal but the effects of it could be huge.

Snap out of it is not going to happen
A lot of people tell depressed people to just get over it and get better.  Saying  “Try to get better” is not going to make everything fine. Trust me, the person was already trying; they are not waiting for you to come tell them to do that. Being depressed is not a trip to lala land, no one willingly wants to be depressed. They just are.

A depressed person can smile
Another misconception is that depressed people do not smile or laugh or spend some nice time. There could be times when you are not able to tell the difference between a depressed and not depressed person. A person suffering from depression can have a couple of hours smiling and dancing but what happens after that is what counts. The sleepless nights, the nightmares during whatever little sleep they get, the anxiety and panic attacks, the lack of energy, the lack of will to live.
Not that I have read up a lot but  a number of famous people who have killed themselves due to depression were behaving just fine a couple of hours or days before they took that step. Their closed ones didn’t anticipate something like this would happen.

No coffee will cover up the drop in energy
This is not like a drop in energy after a heavy meal. This lack in energy makes them not want to get out of bed or even open their eyes. This lack in energy would not allow them to move at times and staying still and staring into the distance becomes normal.

Everyday things can feel like a big task
Like I mentioned in the earlier point, waking up is a task. Doing normal everyday things seem like a huge deal for them. Waking up, getting ready, concentrating, smiling, interacting with people becomes difficult. And because a lot of people do not understand this, this can become a barrier between them and the society. This barrier pushes them further into depression.

It’s not the same for everyone
This is not a one-size-fits-all dress, depression is different for everyone and the way the cope with it is also different. Understand the difference and try to be supportive whenever possible.

There is no one reason or maybe there is
What leads to depression is as diverse as humans itself. A major incident can be the cause of depression. At times, the person is already battling depression that people are not aware of and then one incident can trigger a full blown depression war.
Again, the trigger can be diverse, it may seem like a non-issue for you but it does make a huge impact on the depressed person. Be a little sensitive.

They don’t want to feel like a burden and let you down, the pressure is killing
It can be tricky to deal with this situation, asking them to snap out of it or mentioning that they are over doing it or saying that they seeking attention etc would not help. They don’t want to let you down or ruin your good mood, claiming that they are doing so puts pressure on them. They feel like a burden and that they are letting you down.

They appreciate your effort
I understand that it may not look like it but they are appreciating your efforts. They are just not able to express them yet.

What you can do help a depressed person:
  • Understand that they are not doing this on purpose
  • Try to find out the reason and see if you can help make it better. Remember that this won’t immediately snap them out of depression but you sure are on the right path
  • Talk to them
  • Do not try to win the conversation. Who is right and who is wrong is not the concern here. It definitely won’t matter if this right and wrong may lead to the person hurting themselves
  • Travel – going someplace new can be a good way to help the person
  • Be supportive and show that you love them






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